Mattress Forum

 Any chance the store you bought if from would be willing to give you a decent credit if you were to apply it to two twin XL's of different firmnesses to put side by side?  It's a long shot, I know, but the worst that can happen is you get rejected.  Another thought if your room is big enough: if you have a queen, get a twin XL of same height for her (not necessarily a Hastens - just whatever works for her) and put that next to yours.  (If you have a double, then just a twin is the same length).  You would have to dress them separately (unless you can find someone to make you custom bedding), but an oversized king comforter should allow you to share the top cover.  Another option would be to ditch the Hastens topper but keep the base mattress, then start rebuilding the top with either memory foam or latex.  You could even have different firmnesses on the top for each of you.  And the last option, which you are understandably avoiding, is to have separate beds.  You mention medical school so on those nights when you come in late or are up very late studying and you don't want to disturb her, you could sleep on your Hastens.  If your Hastens has been your dream bed for this last year, I would find a way to keep it using one of the above options.  Good luck.

Diane has some good ideas.

My first question would be, what would you do to replace it?  Get something softer that might not work for you?  That would not be a great solution either (unless you went with latex that could be customized on both sides).  So, you might be better off trying to make what you have work.

Or as Diane suggested, maybe ditch the top layer and get 2 half layers, one soft one firm.  On your side, you could stick with the same thing you have just smaller and find something softer for your wife.   Or just add something to make the whole thing softer if you can live with that (memory foam, latex, feather bed, etc.).  Or you can have it uneven by just adding something to one side.

Have you discussed your dilemma with the Hastens retailer?  Maybe they have some good ideas as well.  It looks like they  customize soft vs. firm with different coils.  That makes it difficult to fix.  Ideally you would change one half of the coils to soft, but I doubt they could do that for a reasonable price if at all.  Never hurts to ask for ideas.

You could get lucky on Craigslist.  Nothing to lose by trying.   Or you could put flyers on windshields at the Hastens store...

If anyone else has any ideas, I'm all ears. 
 

This is what also scares me because I've had back problems from past beds. I don't know if those beds just didn't fit me right or weren't firm enough.

"Or as Diane suggested, maybe ditch the top layer and get 2 half layers, one soft one firm.  On your side, you could stick with the same thing you have just smaller and find something softer for your wife.   Or just add something to make the whole thing softer if you can live with that (memory foam, latex, feather bed, etc.).  Or you can have it uneven by just adding something to one side."

I'll definitely look into this more. I've got to ask though; if I can make the bed soft and comfortable for her and myself by using toppers, did I just blow a stupid amount of money on a "base mattress".  Couldn't a much cheaper mattress do the same thing as a Hastens in this case since the comfort is coming from the top layers?

I do really like the flyer idea too :D

So, it is softer without the top level?  If so, that is your starting point.  Have your wife try that and work from there. 

She might want to add something softer and you might want something firm to add.  That is a bit of a dilemma, but you could either buy twin XL toppers (roughly 1/2 of king) or buy 1" and cut in half to have 2" for each half.

What is the Hastens topper made out of?   I think most of the cost is in the mattress and boxspring.  Anyway, it is a sunk cost at this point. 
 

Hastens makes an excellent coil system so no, I don't think you wasted money on their mattress because that is where you are getting the support for your back.  By the way, when I was trialing Hastens, I liked it better without the topper too.  Yes, you can have your fiance (wife now?) try it without the topper but unless she is quite heavy I suspect the firm mattress by itself is still going to be too firm.  But it is amazing what 2-3" of a topper will do.  And this way you can customize the firmness of the top for each of your needs.  A king memory foam at Costco (Pure Comfort) is between 150-200 and is returnable and would be a good place to start.  If that makes it too soft for you, then try 2 twinXL toppers of different firmnesses in latex.   I'm optimistic this is going to work.  Don't give up on your beloved Hastens yet!

That's good to hear! I'm also glad I'm not the only one who thinks the bed is more comfortable without the topper.  I tried sleeping on it last night without the topper and you're right, its still firm even for me (it's a weird firm because it still feels comfortable).  She's tiny so that isn't going to work. I'll check out the costco option and see how that feels.  Thank you so much for your help! 

 Costco also has on sale right now Eco memory foam toppers (2.5" 4 lb.).  Not sure which is better between that and the pure comfort (3").   Those might be too soft for you (not sure how soft the horse hair topper is to compare), buy your fiance might like them. 

Another way to go would be to order 1" of something from Overstock.  You could fold in half to see what 2" would be like as well.  Possibly you could cut in half if one of you likes it and the other doesn't.

I have tried the mem-cool (4lb. density, a bit softer, breathes better) and Sensus (5lb., a bit firmer, can sleep hotter for me).

p.s. not sure if Hastens could split your topper into 2 for you and resew it.   Then maybe you could still use half of it.