New Mattress Too Firm
Aug 10, 2010 1:02 AM
Joined: Aug 10, 2010
Points: 3
I just received delivery of a new mattress today replacing a  latex mattress purchased in June.  While the latex mattress was comfortable to sleep on, I woke up with lower back pains every morning.  It was just too soft. I also got very warm sleeping on the latex.   Thankfully the store I purchased from allowed an exchange with a restocking/delivery fee.   When I went to the store to choose a replacement, I chose a very firm mattress.  I think I made a big mistake.  It feels like I am sleeping on the floor it is so firm.  I would like some advice on what to do.  Would a pad of some sort help or will I somehow eventully get used to it.  The mattress in the store did not feel this firm - yes it was firm but felt way more comfortable than the bed that was delivered.  Does the bed soften up a bit after a bit of use.  Has anyone had this experience?  I can't imagine going back to the store and say this bed is too firm.  I am not sure even if I went back that I could make a good decision based on the two decisions I just made. HELP!!!  I just need a good nights sleep.
Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #1 Aug 10, 2010 10:45 AM
Joined: Aug 5, 2010
Points: 34
Ah sorry to hear man.  Getting the right bed can be a hassle, but at least you're on your way.  Having a firm base isn't a bad idea but having a topper would certainly help. I would look at throwing a 2-3" latex topper with an ILD of 24-28 on your new mattress coupled with a St. Dormeir wool cover for breathability.

Talalay Latex toppers: http://www.rockymountainmattress.com/toppers-c-22.html

Wool cover: http://www.snuggledown.com/s/catalog/st_geneve/st_dormeir_wool_mattress_protectors/

Anyone else with advice please feel free to chime in.

Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #2 Aug 10, 2010 5:13 PM
Ouch
Location: San Jose, CA
Joined: Apr 4, 2010
Points: 143
You might be happy with only 1 or 2 inches. I was using a 1" soft latex topper from FoamByMail on my new Tempurpedic, until it was broken in. It did the trick. If you get a memory foam topper, you'll probably need at least 2 inches, though. 1 inch works with latex, but doesn't really feel like much with MF.
Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #3 Aug 11, 2010 5:24 PM
Joined: Dec 11, 2009
Points: 113
Sorry to hear about your problem: bed doesn't feel like it did in the showroom.    This blog is the absolute best at learning about mattresses and toppers and what to do about it.    Some of us here have many mattresses, toppers, and thousands of hours and dollars invested just trying to get a good nights sleep too, unfortunately, so you are at least in good... tired company. wink 

For me, that is over 20 mattresses bought (many exchanges wheedled out of several suppliers), over $5k, 75 toppers, and thousands of hours pouring over this blog and another good one ccmattress.com, Peter Cancelli's blog from his NJ store.  I am 170 lb M, side and back sleeper, 60, with lower back pain.  I am not the best guide, because I am still searching for "better" but right now I am sleeping on 2 x 1 inch layers of soft latex on a really firm Serta bed.

1.Every mattress felt better in the showroom than after 8 or less hours at home.

2. Latex does not "soften up".. the whole point... if it "softened up" ... it would be 'breaking down."  Good latex can last 20 years or more.  My mother in law had one in the 50's that lasted 30 years.  You need to buy "soft enough" and it will mostly stay that way, year after year.

3.  Buy your toppers in 1 inch thicknesses and multiples. Two 1 inch are exactly like one 2 inch.  When you buy a 1 inch queen, say, you can fold it over and feel what 2 inches feel like... with only  a single layer bought.  If you like 2 x 1 inches, (sleep overnight).. you are there.  A lot of folks here don't trust a mattress underneath and go the route of eliminating the mattress and "build" their own mattress with a large block of either high density poly foam or latex.. and put 2-3 inches of softer latex (14-24 ILD) on top.

4.  How firm you need is subjective.  What ILD (indentation load deflection, a measure of "sink in") you will need will be a function of how heavy you are, body shape, sleep preference back or side, etc.  Hard thing is that it  is a blind purchase.

5.  I have posted several comparisons of 1 inch toppers from two of the big suppliers, here's cliff notes:

www.Foambymail.com is cheapest Queen 20 ILD latex topper (their softest, start with that) is $98 shipping included.  No return.  I recommend starting with one of those.. you can see if 1 inch works, try 2 inches.. see if either of those works.  If you need softer on the top layer ... most put softest latex on top and then firmer below that, if you need it, you will pay for it:   www.sleeplikeabear.com sells a  Queen 1 inch Talalay 14 ILD latex topper and claim it is the softest on the market.   I have bought and tried both, using a FBM topper right now.  When I tried the SLAB one, it came in a box half the size of the one from FBM, meaning it was indeed less dense, and would be perceived as softer.  SLAB charges $172 shipped for Queen 1 inch.  The good news is that SLAB will accept a refund with a restocking fee.  I sent one back.. $32 from Atlanta, and at the time thought it was a bit softer but not enough to be worth double the price.   I now wish I hadn't, and will probably order one this week.   Both are good product.  If you really need soft and don't want to risk "pretty soft"... the SLAB topper offers the chance to know.... and your exposure is $32.

6.  Speaking from experience with bad back and combination side and back sleeper:  you want as little soft layer as possible, so that your body almost "bottoms" out of the comfort layer, so there is resistance support, to be best for your back.  I cannot use mem foam, because my body senses the sinking falling feeling and tries to hold my glutes up.. and I wake with huge back pains.  Others like it.  Same thing happens to me if my comfort layer of latex is too thick.

7.  The search for the perfect bed or better bed will become an addiction.  Jimsocal has posted 1,000 comments (thanks Jim! ... a wealth of information), has done major "mattress surgery".. and is still not satisfied! Scary to me.  Others dive in... buy their latex stack, and pretty much hit it first time.  So hoping tha

So welcome and good luck.

shovel99

 

 

Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #4 Aug 12, 2010 9:34 AM
Joined: Aug 10, 2010
Points: 3
Thanks for the replies.  After reading your posts and several others, I decided to try 1" talalay latex topper.  There is another post S&F with 1" talalay - love it from someone that seems to have the identical problem I have.  Complete with purchasing a S&F as the replacement bed after having a plush bed that killed their backs.  My current bed, btw, is a traditional spring coil bed not latex.   I am hoping with the addition of the latex topper it will give me just enough cushion without losing the firm support I need.
Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #5 Aug 12, 2010 12:07 PM
Joined: Oct 13, 2009
Points: 156
Sounds like a good plan.  Where did you order it from?  What was the cost?    Please report back and let us know how it works for you.
Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #6 Aug 13, 2010 9:51 PM
Joined: Dec 11, 2009
Points: 113
Just one added clarification:  if you buy a queen 1 inch latex.. you can fold it over in half to see how 2 inches of same topper would feel, so the one inch will kill two birds with a stone.

Just one inch can make an amazing difference!  Good luck.  shovel99

Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #7 Aug 16, 2010 11:42 AM
Joined: Jul 24, 2010
Points: 12
I really hear you on your problem, GoodNight10. I posted a few weeks ago after having spent my whole budget on a latex OMI mattress that felt perfect in the store, is a bit too firm at home. Like you, we had a WAY too mushy (S&F latex/synthetic foam piece-of-garbage) mattress before that was awful. We have hip/low back problems and mushy really sucked for us. We are much better off with the firmness, but now we're trying to tweak it with a topper. 

Based on advice here, we got a FoamByMail 1" 20 ILD topper. It did away with our too-hard pressure point issues and I like it, but my husband is waking up with achy hips. I don't know what our next move should be. Shovel99's advice about doubling up the 1" to see if 2" is a great suggestion. But if my husband's hips are achy but the mattress surface is too firm, I don't know whether to go up or down in inches or ILD.

We also have no proper mattress pad/cover containing the whole thing, but just double-sheeted our bed. So the topper shifts off the mattress edged a little bit. If anyone has a good rec for a mattress pad/cover, I'd love to hear it.

Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #8 Aug 17, 2010 5:58 PM
Joined: Aug 10, 2010
Points: 3
I ordered from foambymail.com.  I paid about $112 for a 1" talalay latex foam topper (20 ILD).  It was delivered today!  Can't wait to try it out tonight.

Not sure the best way to place on the mattress.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Does it go directly on the mattress, with the vent holes facing up?

Do you need a special cover to keep from slipping?  Will let you know how I sleep tonight.  Again, thanks for your suggestions.

 

To Topperquest - was your husband comfortable without the topper?  If so, maybe you can cut the foam in half and have your side with the foam and his without.

Re: New Mattress Too Firm
Reply #9 Aug 17, 2010 7:06 PM
Joined: Oct 13, 2009
Points: 156
Usually the vent holes are on both sides so it doesn't matter.   If only on one side, I would face them up I guess.   I have found that it is best to place the bare latex right on the mattress.  This way it will NOT move!   If you put a cloth cover on a topper it tends to slide around.   I put an old sheet on my latex topper but left the bare side directly on the mattress.....no movement at all.   Then I put a washable wool/cotton mattress pad over the whole mattress assembly.   The wool mattress pad is awesome and I noticed that the bed sleeps much cooler now and wicks all moisture away.   WORTH every penny (lots of pennies!).    There are lots of posts on this forum about the Dormeir or Natura washable wool pads.

Good luck and happy sleeping.